Silver Linings

- "Shithole": takes Michael Wolff's book off of the front page for a while

- A poorly designed new U.S. Embassy: gives Trump and excuse for not visiting London

- The Energizer Bunny: tends to keep Bill Clinton out of the public square

- Expensive Chardonnay: tends to keep Hillary Clinton out of the public square

- Cryptocurrencies: a novel way for the wealthy to piss away huge fortunes

 - Mexican wall: the bullet in the Democrats' game of Russian Roulette

- NYC truck attack: a reason to get rid of  the visa lottery and chain migration

- Colin Kaepernick's protest: an excuse not to watch increasingly boring NFL games

- Russian meddling charge: exposes the perfidy of Obama's Deep State

- Transgender bathrooms: shows the folly of women pissing into an urinal standing up

- Weiner-Abedin marriage: keeps Carlos Danger from testifying against Huma

Headlines

All from Internet news sites. Guess which from Politico?

[Hawaii] Judge blocks Trump's latest travel ban order

Report: FBI sat on evidence tying Clintons to Russian bribery scheme

2,800 Huma gov't docs found on Weiner's laptop ...

Study: More immigrants in 2016 than ever before in American history

[Sens.] Alexander, Murray strike bipartisan Obamacare deal

Bob Weinstein has now been accused of sexual harassment

Alabama shock poll: Roy Moore tied with Dem ...

Trump tells McCain: 'At some point, I fight back'

Trump official halts abortions among undocumented pregnant teens

Kaepernick blames Trump for his unemployment

Anti-immigrant billionaire politician rises in Czech Republic ..?

[Jane] Fonda: 'I don't regret going to Vietnam' -- 'I'm proud'

Headlines

These headlines are real ... they have all been discovered on Internet news sites. Guess which ones came from Politico?

'20th highjacker' offers to testify about Saudi links to 9/11

Judge OK's petition for America's first 'genderless' person

Rep files one sentence bill to repeal Obamacare ...

Trump to court Dems ... Open door

Report: Huma, Weiner 'working hard' to save marriage

White House rejects report Trump handed Germany $374 billion bill for NATO services

Atlanta family battling state for right to name daughter Allah ...

Trump weighs deeper involvement in Yemen war ...

Trump's a dictator? He can't even repeal Obamacare ...

Sessions announces crackdown on sanctuary cities ...

White House blame game intensity as Trump agenda stalls

Sex Pistols [Johnny] Rotten praises Trump, Brexit ...

Headlines

These headlines are real ... they have all been discovered on Internet news sites.

Allahu Akbar: Berlin killer dead in Milan ...

U.S. Begins asking foreign travelers about social media ...

Trump: 'I don't want celebrities at the inauguration'

[Bryn Mawr] College student driven out of school for backing Trump

[Hillary, Huma] Still together ...

World's last wild frankincense forests are under threat

Former presidents won't be at Trump's inauguration -- except one [Carter]

Putin says Dems sore losers ... Ready to visit USA ...

TWITTER inflated video ad metrics by as much as 35%

Wealthy DeBlasio crony caught getting food stamps illegally

Obama administration finalizes Social Security gun ban

L.A. proposal to rename freeway after Barack Obama

Headlines

These headlines are real ... they have all been discovered on Internet news sites.

Stocks best week since 2011 ...

Some illegals already leaving the country ...

The sequel: Chelsea Clinton being groomed to run for Congress

Sidney Blumenthal: 'Right wing' FBI agents took down Hillary in a 'coup d'etat'

David Brooks: Trump will resign or be impeached within a year

Huma weeps in street ...

Trump calls slain cop's widow to offer condolences ...

[Lena Dunham] ... cops out on pledge to move to Canada

ESPN's viewership is tanking

Charles Barkley to angry NBA crowd: 'Give Trump 'a chance'

People burning New Balance sneakers  to protest company's Trump support

Yet another journalist calls for Trump's death

What Now?

About two weeks ago I offered here some tongue-in-the-cheek suggestions as to how to adjust to a Trump victory. Surprisingly, since this event actually did occur last night, I think I might reprise these suggestions here:

- Open a relo service to Canada and New Zealand 

- Go into the construction business along our southern border

- Make sure your dead uncle's vote was counted

- Cancel your subscription to the New York Times

- Buy coal company stocks

- Abandon writing a book on the Bush family 

- Buy deep-discounted Russian bonds

- Swear to your friends you voted for her

- Open a McDonald's franchise near the White House

- Get a job

- Rescind your pledge to contribute to the Clinton Foundation 

- Short Goldman Sachs stock

- Buy a gas guzzler

To this list I might also now add the following events:

- All the printers at the Clinton Foundation will run out of paper due to the slews of resumes being produced there

- A number of media members will change their professions

- A number of polling organizations will start selling Slurpees

- Huma Abedin will convert to Buddhism

- Hellary Clinton will start raising money for her Almost-Presidential Library

- FBI Director James Comey and Anthony Weiner will be put on suicide watches as notes to those ends have already been discovered

Headlines

Sarandon: 'DNC completely corrupt' ...

Guardian: Wikileaks reveals how globalist elites run USA for own interests

Soros spending $2M to topple Sherrif Joe ...

Gunman ambushes two NYPD officers, two dead

Bill Maher: 'I'll f*cking kill Anthony Weiner if Hillary loses' ...

Claim: Huma, Weiner have both flipped, 'now cooperating with government'

Report: Hillary went to Sex Island with convicted pedophile -- at least six times

Crashed Tesla explodes into massive fireball ...

Student fired from campus newspaper after writing 'illegal alien' in column

Podesta: Calling Chelsea 'not smart' is not an 'understatement'

WIKI [e-mail to Podesta]: 'I hope Hillary truly understands now how batshit crazy David Brock is' ...

Charles Barkley: 'I will never work on ESPN' ...

Headlines

These headlines are real ... they have all been discovered on Internet news sites.

WIKI exposes Clinton, DOJ collusion ...

Two terabyte hard drive with [Bill] Clinton's White House e-mails missing from National Archives

France closes mosques promoting 'radical ideology' ...

[Obana] Talks about himself 207 times -- while campaigning for her ...

Bolton: Comey should dare Obama to fire him ...

Huma returns! Will host high fashion fund raiser for Hillary

White House announces nationwide electric car recharging network ...

Assange: It's. not. Russia.

Judge denies Pennsylvania GOP call for poll watchers

Obama: Trump would tolerate Klan

NYC provides benefits to 1 million illegals ...

Mark Cuban would rather 'lose every penny' than have Trump as prez

Headlines

These headlines are real ... they have all been discovered on Internet news sites.

ISIS expands control in Iraq

The kids are all right: Children with 3-way DNA are healthy

Obamacare architect: Premium increases 'are going to be severe'

Obamacare architect: Law is working as designed

Obamacare architect laughs about skyrocketing premiums

Bill does it again: 'Obamacare co-pays, deductibles, premiums too high'

Mel Gibson gets standing ovation in Hollywood ...

UN poll: Climate change least of all global concerns

1 in 4 teachers chronically absent ...

Huma: 'Hillary is still not perfect in her head'

Berkeley protesters demand 'spaces of color,' block white students from classrooms

DOJ employees gave 97% of their donations to Hillary ...

What if ...

the Donald Trump/Mike Pence ticket wins in November? This upset victory might result in a number of interesting and maybe attractive developments:

- Hellary will divorce Bill and marry Huma

- Bill will devote his life to investigating female sex slave trafficking

- Barbara Streisand might move to Australia as promised

- Obummer will start his Family Foundation with the eventual intention of buying Kenya

- Newt Gingrich will be named Chief of Staff

- Mark Cuban will have lost a close friend

- Mar-a-Largo might become the summer White House

- Construction will start on the Keystone Excel pipeline

- Justice Ginsburg will not resign from the SCOTUS even when on a respirator

- Mexico will refuse to pay for the Wall

- Chris Christie will be named Attorney General

- The Clinton Foundation will have lost its major funding sources and may fold

- Rosie O'Donnell and Lena Dunham will move to Canada

- Melania Trump will attempt to buy back all her nudie photos

- Coal and other energy companies' stock prices will soar

- Paul Ryan and/or Jeb Bush might slit their wrists

- Bernie Sanders will retire to his new beach-front home

Headlines

All these headlines are from Internet news sites.

Al Qaida leader calls upon followers to reject ISIS, support Taliban

The North Atlantic: Ground Zero for Global Cooling

Parents outraged over all-nude Shakespeare performance in [Prospect] park

Huma on masthead of radical Muslim journal

Half of those meeting with Hillary at State donated to Clinton Cash

Huma e-mails reveal more 'pay for play'

Voting rights restored again for 13K felons in Virginia

Hundreds of CA kids sent home from school due to new vaccination law ...

Biden: Terrorism is 'not an existential threat' to the U.S.

UK could be covered in small modular nuclear reactors in ten years

Vince Foster files vanish from National Archives

Turkey in cross-border operation to free IS-held Syrian town

Kaine Mutiny

Not only can her VP pick, Tim Kaine, speak Spanish but he also, like Hellary Clinton, is enamored of Muslims ... see: Breitbart Article. This obviously helped seal the deal with Huma's close friend. Here is the key summary of this hyperlink:

Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton’s newly-announced running mate, Virginia Senator Tim Kaine, has a history of embracing Islamists. He appointed a Hamas supporter to a state immigration commission; spoke at a dinner honoring a Muslim Brotherhood terror suspect; and received donations from well-known Islamist groups.

Boy will Trump have fun with this one!

Headlines

These headlines are real ... they have all been discovered on Internet news sites:

Robot-powered burger joint threatens fast-food workers

July 4 message from Putin to Obama: Let's have better ties

Tim, the Kenyan elephant, seeks human help after being hurt by spear

Divided Poland mulls total abortion ban ...

Scientists FlipFlop back to Global Cooling?

Fido forever: dog cloning clinic

Those [in Dhaka mass killings] who could recite the Quran, spared

Huma admits Clinton burned daily schedules

U.S. Surpasses Saudi [Arabia] in oil reserves

Dems drop platform requirement that illegals learn English for amnesty

[National] debt jumps $100 billion ... in one day!

About 1.6 million people didn't make their Obamacare payments