Showing posts with label Lady Gaga. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lady Gaga. Show all posts

Friday, November 11, 2016

Headlines


These headlines are real ... they have all been discovered on Internet news sites.

GrubHub CEO tells pro-Trump employees to resign ...

IRS sued for Clinton Foundation docs

Giuliani: 'Bunch of spoiled crybabies' protesting DJT

Lady Gaga pushes petition demanding Electoral College vote for Clinton

CNN broadcasts protester's call for death and violence

Trudeau ready to renegotiate NAFTA ... Mexico too ...

Trump could walk away from decades of 'climate deals' ...

Socialist Seattle Councilwoman calls for Inauguration protest

TPP R.I.P. ...

Assange still without Internet ...

Oregonians submit ballot proposal to secede from Union ...

Slate: Women 'sold out the Sisterhood' by voting for Trump

Wednesday, August 03, 2016

The Template Test


"It's a Barnum and Bailey world, just as phony as it can be" -- E.Y. Harburg and Billy Rose

When the cerebral David Brooks of the New York Times looked over Obummer in 2008, he knew he would make a good president because of "the crease in his pants." Chris Mathews was equally smitten with this candidate because he "sent a tingle up his leg." And Joe Biden was sold on Obummer when he recognized him as a "clean, articulate, bright Aftrican American." (This quip also got him a cushy job for eight years.) These three political decisions were made not on studied judgments ... but on the basis of feelings. Templates were held up to this candidate and he passed their quick profile tests. Unfortunately, these template judgments were wrong. Obummer has been one of the worst presidents in a long unfortunate history of simps, scalawags and scoundrels who have occupied 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Of course, there have also been great men who have been President of the United States. But, using the template test, many of them would not have passed muster. I'm thinking particularly of Harry Truman, Andrew Jackson and Abraham Lincoln.

What happens as a result of voters' preference for using templates to pick presidents. Obviously candidates are preened, poked and posed into predetermined templates in the hope of getting elected. A very good example of this is Hellary Clinton. If one compares what this woman was like as Secretary of State ... frumpy, disheveled, detached, almost lazy ... to what she has become today. Clearly her handlers have reshaped her into a slick robotic presidential candidate ... both in appearance, demeanor and rhetoric. This remake is designed to appeal to voters who can't be bothered to look beyond her staged appearance ... her template. To me, this artifice of reforming candidates into templates is so Hollywood, so tinsel town, so Lady Gaga ... that I want to flee to someplace genuine, like a petting zoo.

I think I'll stop here ...

Friday, April 15, 2016

Consequences


President Obummer and a phalanx of pissants have stated that global warming is at the root of terrorism ,,, see: Washington Post Story? This sounds logical to me ... and leads me to disclose the following other consequences I've uncovered of our planet's heating up 0.74 degrees Celsius over that last 110 years.

- Many of the best Hollywood actors and actresses of the 1940s and 1950s have passed away
- Pope Francis has donated all the Vatican's vast treasure to Save the Whales (he hasn't?)
- Michelle Obama's school lunches have made our kids thin (could also be because they don't eat them)
- Transgender bathrooms have been conscripted
- Lady Gaga invented twerking out of desperation
- China has decided to turn the entire South China Sea into a military base and amusement park
- Tipper Gore has divorced Al Gore (could also be because he lost the chad war)
- The U.S. economy has been stagnant for the last seven years
- Vladamir Putin of Russia keeps taking off his shirt
- HIV/AIDS has infected large swaths of the other sexes
 - President William Jefferson Clinton, against his will, became oversexed
- Blogging has become a popular way of exhibiting societal frustration

More for later once I've sobered up ...


Wednesday, June 03, 2015

Beefcake

Martin O'Malley

I'm not sure that Howard Taft could get elected president these days ... as he wouldn't look too ripped in a Speedo. The sign of the times seems to be inanity and beefcake ... Vladamir Putin riding bareback bare chested  ... and now Democrat candidate, Martin O'Malley, is taking every opportunity to show his pecs to potential young lady voters (and maybe others?)

In this era when millennials can't answer simple political questions like who won the Civil War, savvy pols have dumbed down their campaigns to kindergarten levels ... learning from the likes of Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga and Barack Obama. I can easily project that, in a few more years, Spiderman might indeed achieve high elected office.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Out of Outrage


It seems that pop stars like Madonna, Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga have hyped the sales of their songs and concerts with outrageous stunts and cross-culture controversy ... simulated sex, twerking, screwy costumes, breaking all sorts of social norms, and anything else that the twisted creative minds of these poop stars' posses could invent. However, it now seems that the well of creative outrage is drying up because Madonna's latest performance album, "Rebel Heart" has hit the wall ... its lead single "Living for Love" only ranks 529th on the amizon.com popularity charts ... despite some silly promotional shenanigans such as unauthorized "leaks" ... see: Showbiz 411 Story.

I guess that eventually a manipulated public wises up ... either through boredom or maturation. Whereas old pop stars, since their singing is usually only marginal, fade from view when they run out of ways to be outrageous. How wonderfully quaint!

Afterward: See Madonna's new album hype: Breitbart Story.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Things I Don't Get ...


The following things fly right over my head:

- Comicon

- Climate change

- Tweeting

- Selfies

- Lady Gaga

- Photo-bombing

- Pass/fail grading

- Cosplays

- Purell

- "How I Met Your Mother"

- Superbowl halftime shows

- Gopro camera

- Texting

- Donut burgers

- Blogs

Monday, September 15, 2014

Poor Timing?


Cat Stevens, or Yusuf Islam as he is now known after converting to Islam in 1977, has just announced a new national musical tour of his "Peace Train" ... his biggest hit prior to his enlightenment ... see: AP Story. It would seem to this blogger that Yusuf's notion that he can recreate his prior popularity in the light of what is taking place in the Middle East may be a bit of wishful thinking. Obviously, touring the country using his Muslim name does not make a lot of sense ... so he has reassumed his feline appellation in the hope that the mindless millennials in this country won't notice.

But in order to kill two birds with one stone, at the conclusion of each appearance, he is planning to end with a heavy-metal flourish ... decapitating one of his Christian frontmen.

You know what? This tour well might work after all for Yusuf ... if Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber can bamboozle our young-in's, why not him?


Thursday, August 29, 2013

Kim Jong None

Kim Jong-un and his now-perforated former lover
The despotic leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un has apparently been reading up on his English history … particularly regarding Henry VIII’s way of dumping females who displeased him.  It seems that this pasty-faced roly-poly ... having decided to erase his former lover and her musical posse … had all twelve of them shot (supposedly for pornography) in a machine-gun firing squad over a week ago (see: UK Telegraph Story).

Miley Cyrus with an itch
Travel tip for Miley Cyrus, Madonna and Lady Gaga – North Korea may not be the ideal place to perform your on-stage attempts to out-gutter one another … particularly if Kim Jong-un is in attendance.

Sunday, January 06, 2013

Terms of Endearment



The following is a test of your perspicacity and political savvy.   You are herein asked (as a comment to this blog) to attach one or more of these terms of endearment to one or more of the following people: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Bashar al-Assad, Joe Biden, Justin Bieber, John Boehner, George W. Bush, Dick Chaney, Hugo Chavez, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Barney Frank, Lady Gaga, Rush Limbaugh, Madonna, Barack Obama, Harry Reid, Mitt Romney, Mohamed Morsi, Bibi Netanyahu, Nancy Pelosi, Vladamir Putin, Tim Tebow  (NO PROFANITIES PLEASE!)

Ankle Pecker
Ass Wipe
Babinzo
Badonkadonk
Blaggard
Blatherskite
Boob
Bubblehead
Bumpkin
Charlatan
Chawbacon
Chowderhead
Clown
Cockalorum
Cockroach
Coxcomb
Creep
Curmudgeon
Despot
Diaper Licker
Dolt
Doofus
Drip
Dunderhead
Dweeb
Fliptwiddle
Fop
Fruitloop
Guttersnipe
Harridan
Hick
Honeyfugler
Horndog
Horse's Petute
Ignoramus
Imp
Jackanape
Jamoke
Knave
Kook
Leech
Lickspittle
Lout
Lowlife
Meathead
Misanthrope
Miscreant
Moonbat
Mooncalf
Mountebank
Mugwump
Muttonhead
Namby Pamby
Nebbish
Nimrod
Ninnyhammer
Noddy
Nudnik
Oinker
Peck's bad boy
Pecksniffian
Pettifogger
Pillack
Pipsqueek
Poltroon
Pond Scum
Popinjay
Puddin Head
Puke
Puzzlewit
Quidnunc
Quisling
Rapscallion
Rascal
Reprobate
Rogue
Rotter
Rumpswab
Scallywag
Scamp
Scapegrace
Schlemiel
Schmozzle
Schmuck
Schlub
Scoundrel
Shlump
Shmegegi
Shrew
Skellum
Slattern
Sleezeball
Snake Oil Salesman
Snollygoster
Sop
Troglodyte
Twerp
Twit
Varlet
Wack-a-doodle
Wisenheimer
Wingnut
Wise Ass
Wowser
Yahoo
Yenta
Yokel


Monday, November 12, 2012

The Fix


There are myriad theories about why Romney lost the recently-completed U.S. Presidential election … changing demographics (perhaps Rubio would have been a better V.P. choice after all), class warfare used as the wedge issue, voter fraud, etc. But, to me, I return to my oft-repeated theme … it was an election in which the heart prevailed over the head. Women, who vote in increasingly greater numbers than men, voted for Obama 55% versus 44% for Romney. This was a voting margin that outstrips all others in terms of importance.

Therefore the problem for the Republicans in future elections is enormous … not one that can be reversed with small solutions. Thus, to get back on the winning track, Republicans need a sea-change fix … and I think I have their answer … Sharia Law. I believe that, if the Republicans were to co-opt the Democrats and urge that our Constitution be modified to comport with Sharia Law (see: Sharia Law Tenets), our country would benefit greatly. For instance:

- The 19th Amendment would be obviated, particularly for Christians and Jews, and these women would lose their right to vote. This clearly would solve most of the Republican’s electoral problems.

- The current trend toward public nudity or near-nudity would also be reversed. Lady Gaga could not appear on stage except according to the hajib dress code.

- Since women would be severely restricted as to what jobs or education they could seek, our unemployment problem would be solved overnight.

- Women would be forbidden to drive cars … suddenly solving many of our traffic jams.

- Iran would stop its nuclear sabre rattling and embrace the United States as brothers … Israel, not so much.

- Homosexuality would be forced back into the shadows (so as not to elicit stoning to death) … no more Gay Pride parades with their concomitant public displays of sexual acts.

- Our Supreme Court Justices Breyer and Ginsburg would be mollified in their notion that the laws of foreign lands must be considered in adjudicating domestic legal cases.

- Our crime rates would drop dramatically or, otherwise, we would have legions of one-handed thieves.

- Our divorce rates would also plummet … as adultery would no longer be an acceptable diversion from the monotony of marriage.


Need I go on?.

Afterthought:  Perhaps alcohol consumption in the United States might also be dramatically reduced under Sharia Law?

Friday, September 10, 2010

Peck’s Bad Boys


When I was a naughty child, my grandmother would often call me “Peck’s bad boy,” an impish character from early dime novels … or “skeezicks,” an equally mischievous character from the “Uncle Wiggily” series of children’s books. I don’t recall being that puckish, but clearly I was getting under her skin. And my punishment was often mild and loving.

Today we have grown-up versions of Peck’s bad boy populating what remains of our newspapers and the wall-to-wall frenetic coverage on our cable news networks. These recent headline grabbers, Reverend Terry Jones of the threatened Koran-burning, and Imam Faisal Abdul Rauf of the Ground Zero mosque are annoying 15-minute-of-famers who I would prefer not intruding into my life. They are ticks sucking on the juices of our world’s popular culture, much like Lady Gaga, Al Sharpton, and that bloated comb-over of a tick, Donald Trump, who couldn’t resist entering the current 9/11 mosque fray.

I kind of wish my grandmother could return and make them all sit in the corner.