You Might be a Liberal ...

If you have attended Burning Man more than twice

If you think Al Sharpton is a real Reverend

If you believe that "women's reproductive health" means women's reproductive health

If you majored in Gender Studies at MIT

If you donated your SSI check to Black Lives Matter

If you can use "diversity" and "inclusion" in the same sentence

If you still display your college Che poster in your retirement home

If you have a Bernie bumper sticker on your Prius

If you have more than five EBT cards

If you passed out doobies during Occupy Wall Street

If you wore Birkenstocks to your 25th high school reunion

If you never mouth the words to our National Anthem

If you call 22-caliber rifles "weapons of war"

If you make fun of rednecks

Transomania

Elizabeth Warren

A blue-eyed female white Senator self-identifies as an American Indian. An obviously Caucasian woman claims she is black. A former male Olympic champion self-identifies as a woman. And on and on.

Is it possible that this current transomania (ability to self-identify as anything your very little heart desires) has opened the door to utter mayhem?

- Can I self-identify as a double PH.D. and become a professor emeritus at Harvard?

- Can I self-identify as impoverished and get an EBT card and an Obamaphone?

- Can I self-identify as a Medal of Honor winner and be buried in Arlington Cemetery?

- Can I self-identify as Meryl Streep and claim some Oscar statues?

- Can I self-identify as Sully Sullenberger and fly a 787?

- Can I self-identify as a Puerto Rican and pay no personal federal income taxes?

- Can I self-identify as an illegal immigrant and not have to get a driver's license or car insurance?

This is fun ... perhaps I will claim them all ... and you can't stop me ... otherwise you are a bigot and transophobic! And, of course, Hellery and Oprah will denounce you and Bruce Springsteen will never play another concert in your state! So there!

Suicide Bomber?

All this radical Muslim mayhem has got me thinking about some questions that might be asked by recently-recruited suicide bombers. Here are but a few:

-Tell me again ... what is this red button for?

- Can I use my EBT card to buy C-4 explosives?

- And what heavenly rewards do we female martyrs get?

- I've been told ... is this vest a good stress reliever?

- Does all these plastique-filled pockets make me look fat?

- How am I to enjoy my 72 virgins if I am in little pieces?

- Can I have this vest in a tattersall?

- When I get back from this mission, can I have some baba ghanoush?

- At my pizza parlor target can I just have a couple of slices first?

- What is the legal punishment for suicide bombing?

Red Herring

A friend recently sent me an e-mail about immigration reform in which he said: "making the desirable [illegal immigrants] citizens after exacting a measure of penalties is the way to go".  This to me is unrealistic and a Democrat-inspired red herring … which now is unfortunately echoed by many naive Republicans … such as Marco Rubio and Lindsey Graham.  Let me expand on the points I have made in a previous blog post (see: Carrying Water in Sieve).

Imagine that you are an illegal immigrant ... you work under the table, you don't pay income taxes, you get many social services: Medicaid, EBT card, Section 8 housing, an Obamaphone, etc. ... maybe even SSI.  You have a driver’s license but don't have auto insurance.  You even can vote and sometimes do.  Now would you step forward and let the government know who and where you are, lose some or all of your social benefits, pay your back taxes and penalties, commit to paying income and Social Security taxes into the forever future, buy auto insurance, learn English, and stand in line for citizenship?

I don't think so.  One can be sure that most illegal immigrants understand economic self-interest and the sorry state of our immigration-law enforcement.

I predict that the only result of the currently-proposed immigration-reform legislation would be that less than 25% of those to whom this reform is directed will actually come forward under its terms.  And I also think that most of its more restrictive provisions will be ignored by the Obama administration (i.e., border security expansion will not be implemented) … and the number of illegal immigrants will dramatically increase from the admitted 11 million today.

A piece of advice … don’t try to feast on a red herring.