If you have attended Burning Man more than twice
If you think Al Sharpton is a real Reverend
If you believe that "women's reproductive health" means women's reproductive health
If you majored in Gender Studies at MIT
If you donated your SSI check to Black Lives Matter
If you can use "diversity" and "inclusion" in the same sentence
If you still display your college Che poster in your retirement home
If you have a Bernie bumper sticker on your Prius
If you have more than five EBT cards
If you passed out doobies during Occupy Wall Street
If you wore Birkenstocks to your 25th high school reunion
If you never mouth the words to our National Anthem
If you call 22-caliber rifles "weapons of war"
If you make fun of rednecks
