If you fly both an American flag and a Gadsden flag from your Ford pickup truck
If you keep your VCR just to replay your collection of "Firing Line" video tapes
If you don't have a "charitable" foundation
If you are a member of the NRA even though you don't own a gun
If you wear a belt AND suspenders
If your Confederate flag is folded up at the bottom of your sock drawer
If you refer to them as Obummer and Hellery in your blog postings
If you actually work for a living and pay your income taxes in full and on time
If you prefer Dunkin' Donuts over Starbucks coffee
If you use promotional AARP cards for discounts at motels even though you're not a member
If you mouth the words to the Stars Spangled Banner when it's played
If your American car is over five years old and full of dings
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