Stimulus Check

Let us assume that sometime soon I get Uncle Sam’s economy stimulus check for $1,200 ... which I didn’t ask for and don’t particularly need. What should I do with it?  Here are some possibilities:

- Buy $100 gift cards at 12 local restaurants to help them stay alive?

- Donate it to the local food bank?

- Put it in my grandkids’ college funds?

- Buy hydrovychloroquine tablets for everyone in the neighborhood?

- Donate it to the Trump re-election campaign?

- Buy 12 round-trip Delta airline tickets to Hawaii?

- Donate to a local pol’s “campaign” in exchange for a cushy no-show state job?

- Fund a gun-rights billboard on the Mass pike?

- Buy a lifetime supply of toilet paper?

- Give it back to the government?

My wife won’t tell me how she is going to spend her check ... lots of Netflix movies for our grandkids to keep them occupied during this long shutdown?

Pet Peeves

- Being made to wait forever on line at a restaurant where, once you get in, you see oodles of empty tables

- Birds that reward your bird-feeder generosity by pooping all over your deck

- Endless My Pillow, E.D. and personal-injury lawyer TV commercials

- Tech companies appropriating our most private data and selling it

- Melodramatic Mika,  Morning Joke and other spittle-flecked never-Trump talking heads

- Strange first names with weird spellings and apostrophes ... see: The Name Game.

- Cats that sit there looking elsewhere when you ope the door for them ... letting in the freezing air

- Restaurant wait staff who clearly look the other way when you are trying to get their attention

- Multiple belly-rubbing award ceremonies run by puffed-up glitterati for puffed-up glitterati

- Hypocrites hiding behind walls saying that walls don't work to keep us safe