Showing posts with label DNA test. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DNA test. Show all posts

Friday, October 19, 2018

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Ka-Ata-Kila


Elizabeth Warren has taken Trump's challenge ... and had her DNA tested by a friendly gerontologist. The results are in -- Pocahontas is between 1/64th and 1/1024th Native American. But, unfortunately this test lacked sufficient Cherokee or other North American Indian DNA to compare against ... so Inca and other South and Central American native DNA  markers were substituted.

So the DNA results actually suggest at best, that Ms. Warren may have had an Inca or similar South or Central American native ancestor from sometime in the early 1800s or before.

I think Trump might now have to change Senator Warren's nickname from Pocahontas to a famous Inca native ... perhaps Ka-Ata-Kila, their moon goddess.

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

DNA Test


Saturday Night Live hasn't been funny for years ... pretty much all the juice has been squeezed out of the Trump lemon. In order to turn things around, I offer the following skit to rejuvenate this once-vibrant weekend entertainment.

Let's start withe the scene: A family dinner of the Farkels ... an attractive vibrant mother, somewhat nerdy father and am attractive  teenage daughter. They are discussing  the day's events:

Mother: We got our DNA tests back today ... I am 73% Swedish, 24% German and 3% Turkish. That figures ... my mother was a full Swede and my father had German ancestors.

Father: I got mine and I am 87%  English' 10% Irish and 3% Italian.

Daughter: Wow! I want to have my DNA tested ...

Mother (visibly chagrined): Oh honey, that isn't necessary. Your  results will just be ta mix otf your Dad's and mine. Besides it costs $90 ... this is money we don't need to spend.

Father: Oh, dear ... what's the harm?

Mother  (flushing):Sweetie, these DNA tests are notoriously unreliable. You can't depend on their results.

Father: Oh, honey ... let our daughter do this test. What's the harm?

Mother (angering):'No, I refuse to allow it. It's a waste of good money on an unreliable test.

Daughter: I'll use my own money. I just want to see how much of my DNA comes from you Dad and from you Mom.

Mother (red faced): I refuse to allow it and that's final!

Father (milquetoasty): Aw, honey .

Mother (storming from the table): That's final!!

Father (clueless, to daughter): Gee, I wonder what's gotten into your Mother?


Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Heritage


My daddy was madly in love with my mother ... but his parents didn't approve of her because her heritage was part Native American. So they were forced to "elope" [to a town ten miles away, got married ... and immediately returned home to a big reception.] My parents told me I was part Native American ... so I know who I am ... and so I don't need to take a DNA test ... nor have I ever benefited from this heritage. -- paraphrased from Senator Pocahontas Warren ... it's her story and she's sticking to it ... again and again.

Headlines


At the Pennsylvania rally Trump endorses himself

Elon Musk projects Mars spaceship will be ready for short trips by first half of 2019

[Miguel Diaz-Canel] The new tyrant of Cuba ...  

75% of first-time young  Italian voters marked their ballots for populist parties

Trump's military parade, minus the tanks, set for Veterans Day

China allows Xi to remain president indefinitely

Elizabeth Warren refuses DNA test to prove her Native American heritage

Trump to buck NRA, push to raise minimum rifle purchase age to 21

Trump Organization sends $51,470 in foreign profits to Treasury

China minister says trade war with U.S. would be 'disaster'

Free-falling 8.5 ton space station to crash in Michigan?

Vladamir Putin suggests Jews were behind election interference