12 Days of Christmas

Mitch “The Turtle” McConnell

On the 12 days of Christmas, the Democrats showed to me:

1st Day - An impeachment inquiry

2nd Day - How the Turtle govs

3rd Day - Macron’s French zen

4th Day - Verizon’s calling nerds

5th Day - Prince Andrew’s sordid flings

6th Day - Ghislaine’s a laying

7th Day - The Swamp-crocs a swimming

8th Day - FBI raid’s a bilking

9th Day- Hunter’s pole dancers dancing

10th Day - Lords a vaping

11th Day - Excel pipeline piping

12th Day - Finger drummers drumming

Headlines

House Dems chose party unity over ICE fight

Store closures are accelerating and may top 12,000 in 2019

Protesters remove U.S. flag, replace it with Mexican flag outside ICE facility

Ocasio-Cortez denies playing ‘race card’ on Pelosi: ‘Stupidly untrue’

Barry crawls ashore in Louisiana, weakens to a tropical storm

This US and EU are fighting over trade when they should be finding common cause

Alexa calls 911 on man beating girlfriend ...

Trump confirms Sunday ICE raids: ‘We’re focused on criminals’

FTC approves $5B Facebook settlement that Democrats call ‘chump change’

As Juul grapples with teen vaping ‘epidemic,’ CEO tells parents ‘I’m sorry’

Brain implant restores vision to blind ...

Black pastors call on Nike to sever relations with Colin Kaepernick

Headlines

Klobuchar jumps into presidential race

As older Americans ‘age in place’ younger buyers struggle to find houses

Trump 52% approval jolts Washington, best in years

Texas lawmakers propose state wall funding

Poll: One third of Americans say blackface Halloween costumes are acceptable at times

CDC blames spike in teen tobacco use on vaping, popularity of Juul

Gallup: Optimism about personal finances 16 year high ...

Business lobby unite with GOP to strip Trump from implementing tariffs

Warren: Trump ‘may not even be a free person’ in 2020

iPhone shipments crash nearly 20% in China because Apple charges too much: IDC

Soros: Europe on cusp of nightmare ...

Trump to Dems: ‘Loosen up and have some fin’