Saturday, September 29, 2018

Fonzi Time


It's only a matter of time. Public speakers  often punctuate their delivery with "ladies and gentlemen." This cisgender salutation surely will soon be attacked by members who identify with one of the 234 other gender classifications now in vogue. In fact, if orators were to try to accommodate all this gender taxonomy, they might have no time left in their talk to deal with the subject at hand. Maybe this might be an improvement?

Then we come to "Dear Sir" and "Dear Madam" as salutations at the top of letters. Clearly making assumptions about the gender of the recipient from its name or appearance is now a no-no. There are even those single individuals today who want to be known by the plural pronoun "they" because of the fluidity of their perceived plumbing.

So what to do?

I suggest public speakers use "ladies, gentlemen and those many others." And we must now start all letters with a Fonzi-esque "Yoh."

Footnote: Now that transgenders have been admitted to the army, recruits can no longer salute and respond to their sarge ant's order with "YES SIR." Perhaps "YOH" is the answer here too?

No comments: