Dialog

Vegetarian: “Do you realize that the meat in your ham sandwich there was once the flesh on the leg of a barnyard pig?”

Carnivore: “Yes, I can picture that ... but it doesn’t make it any less delicious ...”

Gold Star

Bet you didn't know that President Obummer banned all pork products ... bacon, ham, pork chops, barbecue, etc. ... from all menus in our federal prison system starting with the new fiscal year, last October 1st ... see: The Daily Caller Story. I wonder why he did this? Possibly one of Michelle's healthy diet proscriptions? But then one can easily assume that the reason given ... that pork products were universally disliked by the inmates there ... was a transparent canard.

Fortunately, this silly pork ban was reversed very shortly thereafter as a result of a loud protest by America's pork producers. But Obummer did get a gold star for trying ...

An Irish Story

Paddy is dying.

His wife, Molly, calls in the priest to give him his last rites.

The priest asks Paddy if he is comfortable ... to which he replies he is ready.

After the priest leaves, Molly enters and asks Paddy how he is doing?

Paddy replies that he is comfortable and ready to meet his maker.

Molly then asks Paddy, "Paddy, you've been such a wonderful husband ...  is there anything, anything at all I can do for you in your last hours?"

[Pause]

Paddy then replies, "Molly, I smell a ham a cookin' in the kitchen ... can I just have a wee slice?"

Molly quickly responds, "But Paddy, that'd spoil it for the wake."