Here are my most heartfelt resolutions for 2014:
-
Lose 40 pounds
-
Stop worrying and love the bomb
-
Learn how to play the tuba
- Try to see the good in Miley Cyrus
-
Be nicer to the neighborhood pets
-
Get out of the stock market … invest in Detroit real
estate
-
Get some Botox injections
-
Run 2 miles every year
-
Start appreciating rap music
-
Eat more organ meats
-
Say something positive about President Barack Obama
Alright … maybe not the last one.
