Fractured Definition

 

Pantomime — acting out that those knickers belong to me alone.

STAND UP FOR KNICKERS?

Headlines

Trump's Jerusalem embassy opening marred by deadly clashes in Gaza

Mexico shuts down 17 men who tried to run for office as women

Cracks in Hawaii volcano roar ...

... Democrats skip [U.S. embassy opening in Jerusalem] ...

A GOP surprise:House midterm hopes rise in blue California

IRS may nix blue state's workaround of tax deduction caps

Ecuador prepares to hand over Assuange?

Seafood industry begs for more foreign workers

GOP tax cut not why economy is booming

Supreme Court strikes down federal sports betting ban, paving the way for NJ and other states

Pence reaches for Republican Party control ...

Jimmy Kimmel: American people are tired of Trump bashing

Thursday’s Laser-like Focus

[My prediction ... to be straight from the Teleprompter-in-Chief]

"My fellow Americans. I am here today to focus like a laser on jobs. I have suffered almost three years of stagnent job growth in this nation, primarily brought about by the severe recession that I inherited from my predicessor. I have stopped the bleeding but the patient is not cured. I believe that, if we as a nation can come together and focus on providing jobs to those unfortunate among us who have no gainful employment, then I, with your help, can start to grow our economy once again. This is my mission and my only mission for the next 15 moths of my current administration. My mission is to get America and Americans back to work. I may not be able to complete this mission before 2013, but I think this mission is so big that it may take even more time to complete my vision for America. … and this is why I insist that we must come together."

"And when I say come together, I mean that the obstructionists among us need to step back and let their fellow Americans get back to work. I have had to get our economic car out of the ditch in which I found it … and, in doing so, I have had to deal with many of you I see sitting in front of me now who want to see this car stay in the ditch … so that their party can grab the reins of power back. I can only do so much.  If I do not get your cooperation then I will see continued stagnation as a nation and the car will be driven back into the ditch. I cannot tolerate this and I cannot let the obstructionists among us here try to destroy this nation. And so I plead with you to stop this partisan bickering and follow my lead into a better economy."

"I believe we are a great nation that needs to get back to what has made us great and to this end I want to propose the following twenty-seven steps that I guarantee will bring jobs back to our nations’ factories and service sectors:

1) I urge you to create an infrastructure bank that will focus on investing in the rebuilding the crumbling roads, bridges, and schools in our country.

2) I would propose that you provide major government-funding for re-education programs that will enable the long-term unemployed to refresh their job skills so that they can reassimililate themselves into our new high-tech economy.

3) I think that there should be created a twenty-first century equivalent of the Civilian Conservation Corps so our government can reconstruct our national parks, seashores, and wilderness areas while at the same time providing jobs to hundreds of thousands of young Americans.

4) I blah, green jobs blah, me blah, my blah …"