Players: the very tall, dim-witted mayor, the state's somewhat shifty governor, and the too-loyal chief of police.
Now, the opening of the news conference: "As you all know I am the mayor of this city where a few short hours ago we suffered this gruesome tragedy. But first of all, we must say that our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims of this apparently lone-wolf attack. We cannot yet classify this as terror even though the suspect was shouting something in Arabic when he exit his lethal vehicle ...which mowed down all these victims. We will name all the dead after their next of kin have been notified. It is also far to early to release the name of the assailant or describe his motivation which we don't yet understand ... but we want to caution everyone not to jump to conclusions and to lash out at those minorities assumed to be responsible. We want to commend our first responders for the heroism and professionalism in how they dealt with this horrific act. Remember everyone ... if you see something, say something ... blah blah blah ... blah blah ... blah blah blah ... blah.
