Amusing Quotes

I went looking for some sage quotes from Eric Hoffer (to be seen in some future blog post) and I found a site called Brainy Quote. I thought you might enjoy a few of the funnier ones it offers:

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Steve Martin

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Ellen DeGeneres

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Buddy Hackett

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Rodney Dangerfield

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

George Bernard Shaw

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Oscar Levant

To find more funny quotes for yourselves go to: Brainy Quote Site.

Afterward: I remember a similar quip from Johnny Carson that went something like this, "Someone has a automobile accident in the United States every 2.3 minutes. We must find that guy and stop him."