In the Hole!

Watching the Masters Golf Tournament today, I am again reminded how annoyed I get by those dunderheads in the crowd who are constantly shouting, "In the hole!" after every putt or short drive by the front-runners ... sometimes, even after their drives on par 4 holes. How utterly stupid! It's as though such post-shot encouragements might make a real difference in the trajectory of the shot or putt.

This inanity is equivalent to such dweebs parking on the line between two parking spaces or zipping down the breakdown lane during traffic tie-ups. Interestingly enough, I don't think I have ever heard a female make such a horse's ass out of herself. Perhaps polite decorum is built into the female psyche? Whereas grandstanding must come with almost every set of testicles?

Hog Tied

Joni Ernst has jumped into Iowa politics with a bang-up commercial which has pushed her to the front of the pack of Republicans vying for the nomination to replace, if elected, the retiring Tom Harkin in the U.S. Senate … see: Washington Post Story. She claims in this “break-through” television ad that she grew up on a Iowa farm castrating hogs and so she will know how to “cut the pork” in Washington.

I must confess that she is a compelling candidate just on the basis of her chutzpah, great smile and her vow for fiscal austerity. However, I too have spent some time on a farm as a youth … and, as I recall, the castration process for hogs did not involve any cutting. The way that it was done in Pennsylvania was to place a very strong, tight rubber band around a shoat’s scrotum which cut off the blood supply. After a few weeks this piglet’s testicles turned black, dried up, and fell off.  Nice and neat … and bloodless.

So perhaps, if Ms. Ernst is nominated and elected, she might take a goodly supply of strong rubber bands with her to Capitol Hill.  Nah! Most males at that venue are eunuchs anyway.