Wednesday, October 18, 2006

ACTIVISTS ASTRAY

The Boston Globe recently had a story about a pet shop in Cambridge that was torched, apparently by animal activists, who spray painted "No more exploitation of animals" on the store front. As a result more than two dozen exotic reptiles were barbequed rather than getting their morning ration of feeder mice.

This story imagines that the following groups could also be losing sight of their mandates:

- Save the Whales activists have been trapping these behemoths on their annual migration paths so that they might be encased in large blocks of Lucite.

- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) members have been sensitivity-training slaughter house workers to say a prayer for each animal they dispatch.

- The Hemlock Society associates have been planting these conifers in most cemeteries.

- The North American Man Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) members have been sending appreciative valentines to accomplished male geography students and teachers throughout the American continent.

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