Stuff

"He, who dies with the most toys, wins."

Watching "American Pickers" it becomes overwhelming clear that our current American society is obsessed with stuff (I know why it is called that) ... old signs, toys, ,antique cars, posters, sports memorabilia, bikes, electronics, dolls, ephemera, motorcycles, vintage appliances, architectural salvage, tsotchkes, old furniture, etc., etc. Frank and Mike crawl through huge piles of cast-offs searching for "rusty gold" among all this junk. Watching these two men often pay up for trash leads me to believe that their show makes their money on advertising and not on their resale trading, I have been to their store in Nashville and never saw a displayed item being purchased. Besides who wants to buy a cracked plastic car with no wheels?

To me the saddest part of this TV series is to see a "collector" who has grown too old or died and his or her collection is now overwhelming others and needs to be disposed of. The Pickers  over-paying for a few items of their amassed trash never solves anything. There still remains stacks of maudlin memorabilia. (I am reminded of the hermit who died when his huge piles of old newspapers fell over and crushed him.) So think three times before buying that special pot to cook asparagus or that neato knife to devein shrimp. Make do with what you have.

The lesson, dear children, is never fall in love with objects ... stuff is a cruel lover.

Afterward: You don't own a lot of stuff ... a lot of stuff owns you!

Christmas Angel

This is the true history of how the tradition of placing an angel on the top of a Christmas tree came about …

It seems that many years ago Santa Claus had pulled a hamstring two weeks before Christmas while putting his sleigh back in shape.  So he was bedridden during the critical yuletide period and needed to be ministered to by Mrs. Claus … up and down the stairs with his meals and helping him stay comfortable. 

Also Santa’s elves took advantage of this problem to go on strike for higher wages and better health insurance.  Therefore, in between helping Santa, Mrs. Claus had to spend all her remaining waking hours in the toy shop putting the finishing touches on the toys for all the world’s boys and girls.

To top things off, all of Santa’s reindeer got a bad case of Montezuma’s revenge from some bad Mexican oats.  This forced Mrs. Claus to find still more time to clean out the reindeer's stable three times a day … while still helping Santa on the mend … and finishing op her toy shop chores.

Finally Christmas Eve arrived and Santa was finally ambulatory, the elves agreeing to pack up all the toys under binding arbitration, and the reindeer were loaded with Kaopectate and ready to fly.  Santa climbed into his sleigh and was off on his world-wide trek with his signature "Ho Ho Ho."

Mrs. Claus sank into her easy chair with a deep sigh … hardly able to move … when suddenly there was a small knock at the front door.  Mrs. Claus reluctantly pulled herself to her feet and answered same.  Standing there was a beautiful  tiny angel bracing up a lush fir tree for the Claus residence.

Speaking to the clearly annoyed Mrs. Claus she politely ask her, “What do you want me to do with this Christmas tree Mrs. Claus?”

And so, this tradition was born …

The Christmas-Tree Angel

This is a story about how an angel came to be traditionally on top of a Christmas tree.

It seems that many years ago Santa came down with a serious case of the croup a few weeks before Christmas and Mrs. Claus had to minister to his illness.  She was up and down the steps all day with hot chicken soup, orange juice, and NyQuil.

Then two weeks before Christmas Santa's elves went on strike demanding time-and-a-half pay for weekend and evening work.  So Mrs. Claus, when she was not up and down the stairs with the hot soup, was out in the workshop putting the finishing touches on all the children's toys.

Then a week before Christmas Santa’s reindeer all got the trots.  So Mrs. Claus, when she was not up and down the stairs with the hot soup and out in the workshop putting the finishing touches on all the toys, was in the stable changing the reindeer's bedding straw and giving them Kaopectate.

Finally Christmas Eve came and Santa was up on wobbly legs, the elves had packed up the toys under binding arbitration, and the reindeer were sufficiently recovered to perform their annual flight.  Santa’s sleigh was piled high with his goodies for all the children of the world.  Santa got into his sleigh, gave his team a whistle, and they were off at last.

Mrs. Claus went back into the house and, with a deep sigh, sank into Santa’s big easy chair by the roaring fire.  Just then there came a tiny knock at the front door.  Grumpily, Mrs. Claus left her soft chair to go see what new trouble had befallen her.  When she opened the door, there was standing the most beautiful little angel holding a lovely Christmas tree she had brought for the Claus’s.

She sweetly said to the scowling Mrs. Claus, “I have brought you your Christmas tree.  Where would you like me to put it?”