About two weeks ago I offered here some tongue-in-the-cheek suggestions as to how to adjust to a Trump victory. Surprisingly, since this event actually did occur last night, I think I might reprise these suggestions here:
- Open a relo service to Canada and New Zealand
- Go into the construction business along our southern border
- Make sure your dead uncle's vote was counted
- Cancel your subscription to the New York Times
- Buy coal company stocks
- Abandon writing a book on the Bush family
- Buy deep-discounted Russian bonds
- Swear to your friends you voted for her
- Open a McDonald's franchise near the White House
- Get a job
- Rescind your pledge to contribute to the Clinton Foundation
- Short Goldman Sachs stock
- Buy a gas guzzler
To this list I might also now add the following events:
- All the printers at the Clinton Foundation will run out of paper due to the slews of resumes being produced there
- A number of media members will change their professions
- A number of polling organizations will start selling Slurpees
- Huma Abedin will convert to Buddhism
- Hellary Clinton will start raising money for her Almost-Presidential Library
- FBI Director James Comey and Anthony Weiner will be put on suicide watches as notes to those ends have already been discovered
