New Years Resolutions

- Cut back on my blogging ... no more than five posts per day

- Refuse to perform at Trump's inauguration

- Avoid publicly blaspheming Mohammad

- Don't buy any more My Pillows

- Oust Obummer and Hellary from squatting in my head

- Try to be more objective about Trump ... no more love tweets

- Order a 'Diplorable' tee shirt

- Learn how to drive a monster truck

- Swear off of Pop Tarts and Fruit Loops

- Exercise at least once a month

- Reduce my carbon and molybdenum footprints

- Time to stop break dancing

New Year's Resolutions

In the ensuing year I will endeavor to do (or not do) the following:

- Give President Obama the benefit of the doubt ... once

- Don't join any organization that beheads people

- Thank a cop for his/her service

- Not fly on any Far East airlines

- Stop rooting for the Red Sox

- Write a blog that makes the world a tiny bit better

- Steer clear of posting or reading social media

- Never watch the SONY movie "The Interview"

- Laugh more often, particularly at myself

- Stop commenting on Kim Kardashian's monster derrière