A Modern Fable

A big orange bear and a weasel with hair plugs were playing Monopoly. The bear kept landing on, buying properties and building hotels on them. The weasel’s strategy was to keep passing GO and collecting $200 ... and trying to keep landing on Free Parking, railroads, utilities, Community Chest and Chance. The weasel had amazing luck and actually was in the lead for quite a while as he kept rolling the precise numbers to avoid paying the orange bear any rent. He even spent some time in Jail where he sat waiting while his opponent kept building hotels and spending money.

The weasel also had uncanny luck in what cards he drew from his landed-on Chance and Community Chest places. There, the cards he received gave him a kickback from “the bank” and a tax refund from the IRS. Each player (in this case the orange bear and the Chinese dragon) had to give him huge penalties ... and the (Ukrainian) Board of Directors paid him an extra dividend. In fact, he was riding so high that all the spectators in this televised match from the weasel’s basement felt sure that he was a shoe-in to win ... particularly since none of the orange bear’s hotels were collecting any rents.

But then something dramatic happened! The orange bear discovered that the weasel was playing with loaded dice ... and all the Chance and Community Chest cards had been forged. The orange bear strenuously objected to this cheating “hoax” by the weasel ... which caused the weasel to challenge the orange bear to go behind the barn to settle things.

The orange bear quickly accepted ... but when he arrived behind the barn, the weasel had forgotten why they were there ... and was in the process of caressing and smelling a beaver’s silky hair.

The orange bear went back to play more Monopoly successfully for another four years.