A Short Story

In happier times ...

This is a story about a woman friend. She was second generation Irish ... who chose health care as a profession and while practicing this calling in Germany, met and married her husband ... moved back to the US ...  had five rambunctious boys (who were good friends with my children) ... with German first names and Irish middle ones ... continued as a clinician and nurse in the New York City public school system ... saw to it all five boys got well educated and became successful adults ... got divorced ... and retired to a condo in Florida. 

In March, at the age of 80, the NYC public school system called and asked her help with the virus outbreak. Despite warning her boys not to travel, took a plane to New York to resume her long ago nursing duties while staying with her brother ... started not feeling up to par ... couldn’t keep up the grind ... flew back to Florida ... got quite sick ... entered the hospital when diagnosed with COVID-19 ... and died yesterday.

RIP Rosemary!

DNA Test

Saturday Night Live hasn't been funny for years ... pretty much all the juice has been squeezed out of the Trump lemon. In order to turn things around, I offer the following skit to rejuvenate this once-vibrant weekend entertainment.

Let's start withe the scene: A family dinner of the Farkels ... an attractive vibrant mother, somewhat nerdy father and am attractive  teenage daughter. They are discussing  the day's events:

Mother: We got our DNA tests back today ... I am 73% Swedish, 24% German and 3% Turkish. That figures ... my mother was a full Swede and my father had German ancestors.

Father: I got mine and I am 87%  English' 10% Irish and 3% Italian.

Daughter: Wow! I want to have my DNA tested ...

Mother (visibly chagrined): Oh honey, that isn't necessary. Your  results will just be ta mix otf your Dad's and mine. Besides it costs $90 ... this is money we don't need to spend.

Father: Oh, dear ... what's the harm?

Mother  (flushing):Sweetie, these DNA tests are notoriously unreliable. You can't depend on their results.

Father: Oh, honey ... let our daughter do this test. What's the harm?

Mother (angering):'No, I refuse to allow it. It's a waste of good money on an unreliable test.

Daughter: I'll use my own money. I just want to see how much of my DNA comes from you Dad and from you Mom.

Mother (red faced): I refuse to allow it and that's final!

Father (milquetoasty): Aw, honey .

Mother (storming from the table): That's final!!

Father (clueless, to daughter): Gee, I wonder what's gotten into your Mother?

Headlines

These headlines are real ... they have all been discovered on Internet news sites.

Germany's 'rent a Jew' project means to fight anti-Semitism ...

[Polluted] Beijing chokes: factories ordered shut ...

Coldest Chicago NFL game in history ...

Peter King: CIA's Brennan should be investigated for 'hit job' on Trump

Podesta suggests Trump associates may have colluded with Russian hackers

Apple, Facebook, Google and Uber say they won't help Trump develop a registry of Muslims

The Donald tweets to China 'Keep the drone'

'Impartial' BBC calls Trump election an 'American tragedy'

Americans bought 17,850 tons of imported ammo in last 12 months

Senior Taliban member tries for asylum in Germany under fake identity

ACLU backs Zukerberg's censorship of new media on Facebook

Wall Street economists doubtful Fed will deliver on [3] rate hikes

European Heaven and Hell

I figure I have offended a goodly number of Americans with my previous blog post … suggesting that (too) many of us are susceptible to Obama’s B.S.  So, to be fair and balanced, it is now time to dis(respect) the Europeans.  This is a (hopefully) humorous story I heard well over twenty-five years ago ... so I trust it is new to many of you.  It is the European version of heaven and hell.

European Heaven

A German mechanic

An English policeman

A French chef

An Italian lover

and

A Swiss administrator

European Hell

A German policeman

An English chef

A French mechanic

An Italian administrator

and

A Swiss lover

Bada Bing …