Love

Can you use an extra fifty thousand tax-free dollars?  Well our generous government has concocted a way for perspicacious individuals to claim such largess.  All you need to do is to get a “Love” form from the Department of Agriculture (USDA) within the next 88 days and, on it, claim that your deceased mother or grandmother or sister filed for a farm loan from this government agency in the 1990’s and was denied one because of her gender.  If you think I’m blowing smoke, see: The "Love" Program. And you need not worry about being thrown in the poky for concocting lies, you won’t.  Nobody will be investigated for mendacity in this program … it’s written into the law.  What you say is swallowed, er, accepted, as gospel.  So no need to fret.  Just spend a day spinning a good agrarian yarn and the government will reward you for your creative prose.

And, if you are lucky enough to have a black or Hispanic deceased close relative (or can make one up), you might also get an equal amount from the “Pigford” or “Garcia” programs also run out of the USDA.  Just think about that … $150,000 in Uncle Sam checks that are just waiting for you for the asking.  (And you wonder why we are running such monumental fiscal deficits?)

Then, when you get your check(s), all I ask is a 10% commission for this heads-up.  I think that's only fair.

Semantics

Sarah Shourd (arrested about a year ago for wandering over the Iraq/Iran border with her two male companions) has been released by Iran on $500,000 "bail."  The exact circumstances surrounding this release and the future disposition of this case are confusing, much like the country Iran.  See here. The questions that I would like to have answered by our media would be:

- How much was this "bail"?  Was it the full amount or just 10% as is customary in the United States?
- Who paid this money and under what conditions?
- Must Ms. Shourd return to Iran for her trial ... or if she does not return will this money be lost?

However, my primary purpose here is to decry the American press's continued blind acceptance of the semantics of our antagonists.  I strongly suspect that this money paid to the Iranians is really a ransom ... particularly if Ms. Shourd is to leave Iran and not return.  And if this is a ransom payment, then I also condemn our naive press then giving Iran credit for compassion when it is really blatant and dastardly greed.