President Trump was at Mar-a-Lago this past weekend when a young girl was found unresponsive at the bottom of the swimming pool there. Trump jumped into action pulled her from the pool and performed CPR on this little girl for 45 minutes until a miracle occurred ... she finally coughed up water and came around. She was rushed to the local hospital in Trump's limousine with our president by her side ... and was eventually given an all-clear by the doctors there. Trump stayed at the hospital with her parents overnight until this girl was able to pass all the required neurological tests. Before our president left he gave this waif's parents a check for $50,000 to make sure she received all the needed continuing physical therapy ... and promised to pay for her college education.
On Monday the New York Times and Washington Post reported, quoting unnamed sources, that Trump had abandoned his family for the entirety of this past weekend and was suspected of having a suspicious and inappropriate relationship with an underage Florida girl ... and spending the night with her in a private room. After this minor's parents had discovered this incident, President Trump was reported to have paid them off handsomely.
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From The Trump Testament section of the New Bible to printed in 2025:
"...and Emperor Trump said "Bring me the drowned girl." And it was done. He waved his hand, (which was big enough to have six UberRings) and the girl opened her eyes and smiled. "It's a Mar-a-Lago Miracle!" they exclaimed. The Emperor caressed the pudendum of the shivering naked girl and saw that it was good." No mainstream news organizations, were present at the event, as all their employees had been slain by the Emperor's armies or had fled to foreign ports.
Good one ...
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