Pot Boiler

The Middle East is in disarray with insurrections the theme of the day. Egypt has already capitulated to the rioters (whoever they are). Syria is shooting its own citizens pall mall. Libya is in full civil war with air cover provided by the United States and some Piper Cubs from the European Union. Bahrain has been taken under the wing of the benevolent (hah!) Saudi Arabia. Iran, we think, is also experiencing street demonstrations … diminished daily by those demonstrators who were not smart enough to hide their faces from the ever-preset I-Phones. (I say “we think” for less real news leaks out of Tehran than Roentgens from the Fukushima nuclear plant.) Yemen is a turkey shoot with tribe against tribe, North against South, Shia against Sunni, and the government sparing with its own shadow. Israel stands ready to punish the Gaza Strip militants for their indiscriminate shelling of southern Israel. And what about Tunisia where this whole thing started ... are street vendors there now allowed to ply their trades?

How will this all resolve itself? Who knows … certainly not our ever-alert intelligence agencies? (Perhaps Jamie Gorelick, if she takes over the FBI, will fix things by decreeing that intelligence agents can no longer talk to each other.) However, I am not afraid to step into this Muslim morass and sort things out with some intrepid predictions:

- Yemen will detach itself from Saudi Arabia and float out to sea, never to be seen again.

- The Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood will change its name to The Faithful Friends of ElBaradei.

- Muammar Qadaffi (and his family) will flee to Venezuela where he will be given the Universal Freedom Medal by Hugo Chavez.

- Bahrain will be annexed by Saudi Arabia as a “protectorate.”

- Shi'ites will kill lots of Sunnis and Sunnis will kill lots of Shi'ites

- In the midst of all of this, President Obama will embark on a five-week “trade-mission” trip to China with 50 close-friends, his family … and a shipping container full of dollars.

- Israel will be chastised by the U.N. for not allowing more of its citizens to be killed by Hezbollah.

- The Main Stream Media will determine that this was all George Bush’s fault.