Thursday, May 05, 2016

Growing Old


For the few millennials who may happen to stumble across this blog, I offer the following signs of when you start growing old: (These indications are from a man's point of view only.)

- Hair begins migrating from your head, arms and legs to your nose, ears and eyebrows

- The sounds of children frolicking are not quite so comforting

- A BM moves up the hierarchy of your daily routine

- Sleeping through the night becomes a distant memory

- Your libido becomes highly dependent on Pfizer

- Liberal solutions to the world's problems appear a little less compelling (except for Bernie)

- Afternoon naps suddenly seem like a good idea

- You stop adding items to your bucket list

- It's a challenge to have enough breath to blow out all your birthday candles

- You tell the same jokes/stories for the umpteenth time

- Flatulence imposes itself on your social life

- You do a cost-benefit analyses on any major health expenditures

2 comments:

  1. Ah yes. Happy Hour is a nap!

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  2. - when you meet with friends in your age group, the main topics are health-related.
    - sphincters are not as reliable as they used to be.
    - you have a higher tolerance for wrinkles.
    - many things that used to be important hardly seem worth the effort now.

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