My Hat in the Ring

The presidential race is getting crowded on the Democrat side. Every day there seems a new candidate. It is possible that as many as 30 wanna-bes will be running in the 2020 primary. So why not? Today, I too will be declaring as a Social Media Socialist. My campaign slogan will be “pot in every chicken” and I promise that no one will go to bed unimpaired ... possibly hungry though.

I am seeking the endorsement of the Black Lives Matter Movement, #MeToo-ers, Maduro, the Southern Poverty Law Center, Chelsea Clinton, Vladimir Putin and the Harvard faculty. I also seek the support of the LGBs .. but not the Ts ... they are ruining women’s sports and crowding our restrooms.

I am starting a campaign finance committee headed by Anthony Weiner and a GoFundMe page. My monetary objective is two billion dollars or three bitcoins. I also promise a Green New Deal but with airplanes and hamburgers ... and without Brussels sprouts. If elected, I also promise to lock up every other politician and build a wall across the Canadian border ... and Trudeau will pay for it.

I realize I am a little old to be doing this, but then so are many of the other candidates. And besides, I think the world will end in only seven years. But I will pick a youngster as a running mate to compensate ... perhaps Weiner or Jussie Smollett?

I think the hat I am throwing in this presidential ring will be embroidered with MAAA — Make America Awful Again.