Anything Goes

Cole Porter was on to something when he wrote this song about changing morality in 1934 ... only his laments in this ditty seem so tame by today’s standards:

Times have changed And we've often rewound the clock Since the Puritans got a shock When they landed on Plymouth Rock. If today Any shock they should try to stem 'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock would land on them.

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking  Was looked on as something shocking.  But now, God knows, (now sung as “heaven knows”) Anything goes.  Good authors too who once knew better words  Now only use four-letter words  Writing prose.  Anything goes.  If driving fast cars you like,  If low bars you like,  If old hymns you like,  If bare limbs you like,  If Mae West you like,  Or me undressed you like,  Why, nobody will oppose.  When ev'ry night the set that's smart is in- Truding in nudist parties in Studios. Anything goes. 

When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her)   (see: Wiki Entry) Can get Russian reds to "yes" her,  Then I suppose  Anything goes.  When Rockefeller still can hoard en-  Ough money to let Max Gordon  Produce his shows,  Anything goes.  The world has gone mad today  And good's bad today,  And black's white today,  And day's night today,  And that gent today  You gave a cent today  Once had several chateaux.  When folks who still can ride in jitneys  Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys  Lack baby clo'es,  Anything goes.  

If Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction  Instruct Anna Sten in diction,  (see: Wiki Entry) Then Anna shows  Anything goes.  When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up  Now turns a handspring landing up-  On her toes, (see: Wiki Entry) Anything goes.  Just think of those shocks you've got  And those knocks you've got  And those blues you've got  From that news you've got  And those pains you've got  (If any brains you've got)  From those little radios.  So Missus R., with all her trimmin's, (R = Roosevelt) Can broadcast a bed from Simmons  'Cause Franklin knows  Anything goes.

Actually, Joe Keenan did update these lyrics a few years back ... see: Studio 360 Entry. But even this attempt at modernity still seems a little lame ... perhaps the pace of our decay is now exponential?

Afterward: I seem to remember that one stanza in this song ends with "silly gigoloes" ...