Ebonics

Now that Trayvon Martin's girlfriend, Rachel Jeantel, has given MSNBC's Piers Morgan a primer in Ebonics (see: Huffington Post Story), I am reminded of the School Board of Oakland, California's attempt to teach this same argot in its schools ... all those 17 years ago.  Back then, damning the PC torpedoes, I created a listing of other languages that I thought that Oakland could tutor to its diversified student population.  It was passed around the Internet ... for which I got little credit.  Perhaps this time it will be different:

NEW LANGUAGES TO BE TAUGHT IN OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA 

Afro-American Speak: Ebonics (“Ebony” + “Phonics”)

Irish-American Speak: Leprechaunics                      

Native-American Speak: Kimosabics                           

Italo-American Speak: Spumonics (or Rigatonics)

Chinese-American Speak: Wontonics                           

Japanese-American Speak: Mama-sanics                       

Polish-American Speak: Kielbasanics                         

Jewish-American Speak: Zionics                         

Russian-American Speak: Rasputonics                          

Spanish-American Speak: Flanics                        

Scottish-American Speak: Tartanics                              

Eskimo-American Speak: Harpoonics                           

German-American Speak: Autobahnics (or Teutonics)

French-American Speak: Cornichonics (or Escargonics)

Oakland-School-Board Speak: Moronics