Another Mouse That Roared

One of the great movies of my salad years was that Peter Seller’s classic, The Mouse That Roared. I won’t detail the plot, but you can recall it here: The Mouse That Roared. However, the synopsis is that a small country, on the verge of bankruptcy, declares war on the United Stated in order to qualify, when defeated, for those generous American reconstruction dollars. This screen play has since been reprised many times since then … in Kosovo … in Afghanistan … in Iraq … and now in Libya. It seems that the doves in the United States decry the billions of dollars that are spent on the belligerent parts of these wars, but their tongues are tied when it comes to the many billions that are then also spent on the reconstruction of that which was destroyed or the “blood money” paid to those civilians accidentally killed.

Well, how too often does life imitate art? It appears that a small (less than ten square miles) and relatively unknown North African country, Bosa Fazzan, has declared war on the United States. This country is tucked in between Niger, Chad and south Libya in the more desolate part of the Sahara Desert. This country is comprised primarily of nomadic Berber tribesmen who had settled around Bosa Fazzan’s only real asset, a huge oasis that serves as a stopping-off point for the salt-laden camel-caravans traversing the centuries-old trade routes here. After World War II, Bosa Fazzan won its independence primarily through oversight when Italy, Germany and Great Britain withdrew from this area. It has kept this independent identity through the good graces of Muammar Qaddafi of Libya who has used this country as a secret odalisque and gold depositary … paying its Fazir, Ali Muhamed, handsomely to guard them.

However, due to the current hostilities in the region, Qaddafi has withdrawn these treasures leaving Bosa Fazzan destitute. What then was Fazir Ali Muhamed to do in order to feed his subjects? You got it … he has declared war on the United States. You might recall the F-15 that was downed recently nearby. It was Bosa Fazzanis who accomplished this improbable feat with a Stinger missile that it had purchased in 1999 from the Pashtuns in Pakistan. Ali Muhamed has tried to capture headlines in the Western press by claiming this fighter-jet kill and with his declaration of war against the United States … but has so far been totally ignored as being a bit loony. However, he is real and his declaration of war is real. He is quoted as saying (in Arabic): “I have three more Stinger missiles and that Western devil, Barack Obama, better watch out or we’ll down more U.S. planes!”

This report is the first factual acknowledgement of these events derived from a full-of-static satellite phone call from a pool reporter at the oasis in Bosa Fazzan.